Nothing Is Ever Certain
by Yazzy
Summary: A few years after the Bladebreakers split, Kai is a rich businessman. However, his job comes at a price, and that price is a partner. Lonely, Kai turns to endless one night stands. Can Rei save him before he does something stupid?
1. Chapter 1

Right...this fic...well, it's kind of KaiRei. But not really. And it's kind of KaiOC. But not really. Before you shriek in horror and run at the thought of Yazzy doing an OC fic, it's not the usual- the OC's a guy, for a start, and he's no Gary-Sue, that's for certain...

Basically, Kai's a little tart, for reasons which will be explained in due course. It's set a few years after all the guys gave up beyblading, meaning that Kai and Rei are both 22. The first chapter's sort of illustrative of how the years have changed Kai, and then the next chapter will be a little more...serious.

Anyway, here you go, and please don't dismiss it straight away.

* * *

It was raining. Drops of water were bouncing off the floor outside, turning the mud into slush and the pavements into slippery walkways. Kai sat at the window and watched it, for want of anything better to do. He was staying overnight in a hotel so that he could get a plane to Japan tomorrow to meet up with the other Bladebreakers. Much as he didn't want to admit it, he was lonely. It had been at least a year since he'd seen any of them, and he'd spent most of that year apart initiating himself into the somewhat boring and tedious world of business. That said, he'd also discovered something very interesting about himself.

He was attracted to men. He, Kai Hiwatari, was gay. He wasn't sure how others would react to that, but even if they weren't comfortable with it, Kai was. Women were nice in their own way, but in Kai's opinion there was nothng in the world that could compare with the taste of another man's lips.

Suddenly he was snapped from his reverie by a knock at the door. "Yes?"

"Room service for Mr. Hiwatari." Came the reply. Kai licked his lips, hearing a low tenor. So it was a guy...

"Come in, the door's open."

The imposing oak door opened to reveal a young man something near Kai's age. His gaze was fixed on his shiny black shoes. "A bottle of chamapagne and two bars of belgian chocolate, sir." He looked up to hand the tray he was carrying over and Kai smiled.

"Thank you..." His eyes roved the slim body before him unashamedly as he put the tray down, looking briefly at the guy's nametag. "...Andrew." The boy blushed slightly.

"I prefer Andy."

"Andy, then." Kai prowled closer and reached out, encircling Andy's waist with a strong arm, lifting the other so as to run a hand through Andy's lustrous blonde hair.

"S-Sir...I..." Stuttered the young man, looking shocked if not a little excited. "I'm not supposed to-"

"Shh." Kai leaned closer and kissed Andy firmly, pulling him back towards the bed and sitting down with him.

It wasn't like he hadn't done this before. Find a cute guy and seduce them, then leave in the morning. It suited Kai fine. He didn't want attatchments, just fun. It was very predatory of him, and not always considerate, but still. Kai had never been much for caring about other peoples' inner feelings. He pushed Andy back further until he was lying on the bed, their lips still locked in a slow kiss. Kai slid his hands up the green shirt of Andy's uniform and stroked his skin, eliciting a gasp from him and giving Kai greater access to his warm mouth.

"I don't even know your name..." Andy whispered as he pulled away. "And we're not allowed to...not with guests..."

"I'm Kai. And isn't the customer always right?" Kai reached down and stroked Andy's groin, then removed his hand sharply, cutting off the pleasure.

"I-I shouldn't...I have a shift...I should be working..." Andy said helplessly.

"Tonight, then. Be here at twelve. But if you don't come..." Kai reached back down and squeezed hard, making Andy moan. "Then I'll find someone else to have fun with."

* * *

Kai laid back on his bed, top three buttons of his shirt open carelessly and a glass of hideously expensive champagne in his hand. He watched the clock ticking round towards twelve, knowing that Andy would come, and probably early if Kai was any judge. He was never one to count every sexual encounter he'd ever had, but he knew he could be considered promiscuous at the very least, if not a downright slut. What a shame then, that as part of the gay 'underclass' of society he had far less choice of partner than most.

As as a necessity, he'd learnt to tell the most obvious signs of a gay man. It would be easy to... Ah, there. A knock at the door. "Come in." And as he'd predicted, Andy walked in, in plain casual clothes. Kai looked him up and down appreciatively, taking in the legs tightly encased in jeans, and the chest hidden barely by a tight t-shirt. "Champagne?" Andy blushed fiercely.

"I...suppose..." He accepted the glass Kai offered him and sat down beside him, looking tense.

"Have you had many men?" Andy's blush deepened.

"No."

"Any?"

"Look...there's something you should know about me..." Kai smiled indulgently and put his glass down, wrapping his arms around Andy's waist.

"I don't care if you're a virgin, and you don't have to worry about STDs or anything like that. I'm clean."

"I can't sleep with you." Andy said firmly, putting down his drink. Kai nodded. Fine. He'd landed himself with a scared virgin. Didn't mean he couldn't have his fun out of it... He took a mouthful of champagne and leaned round Andy, kissing him fiercely, pouring the champagne into Andy's mouth. After a squeak of surprise and a hasty swallow, the blonde relaxed, letting Kai explore his mouth.

Kai predicted that Andy was an arms round the neck man rather than a waist grabbing man, and his prediction proved correct as seconds later a pair of arms wound themselves around his neck and yanked him closer. He responded by pulling Andy up onto his lap, forcing him to open his legs. That was half the battle over, anyway. He rubbed his throbbing erection up against Andy, so that the younger man would be able to feel it even through their clothes. Andy pulled away quickly, panting slightly. "I...I can't...I can't sleep with you..."

"Am I making you? You're just so..." Kai sighed and ran a hand through Andy's hair. "Beautiful. I've slept with a few pretty people, but none of them compare to you..." Standard line. Kai was sure he'd said that to at least twenty people if not more. "I mean it..." He heaved a largely fake sigh, and let Andy slide off his lap. He picked up their drinks and gave Andy's back, seeing gladly that the blonde tilted his head back and downed the whole glass. "Do you want more?"

"I guess..."

"Lie on your back, then." Andy looked at him questioningly, but obeyed. "Open your mouth." Andy did so, still looking faintly puzzled. It all seemed a lot clearer when Kai picked up the three-quarters full champagne bottle and tipped it into his mouth. His first instinct was to swallow, and to keep swallowing as Kai poured more and more of the golden liquid into his mouth. After practically force-feeding Andy most of the bottle, Kai let up, drinking the last mouthfuls himself and laying down, stroking Andy's chest slowly and sensually. "How old are you?"

"Twenty..."

"Only two years younger than me, huh? So where are you from?"

"England..."

"I've never been to England...is it nice?"

"I don't think so. My parents threw me out and I couldn't get a job...so I moved here."

"I'm from Russia...isn't it strange that we're both here in Germany but neither of us are from here?" Andy stretched restlessly.

"Is it me or is it hot in here?"

"It is kind of hot...mind if I take my shirt off?" Kai took the shaken head as an invitation, unbuttoning his shirt oh-so-slowly and shrugging it off. "Want me to take yours off too?" Andy nodded, and Kai could see that the alcohol was starting to get to him. He had decided long ago that he wasn't too low to get people drunk before he slept with him. Saved them remembering him in the morning when he disappeared.

With steady hands he pushed up Andy's shirt, slipping it over his mass of blonde hair and dropping it at the side of the bed, kneeling over him with a knee at either side and leaning down to fasten his lips around one of the younger man's nipples. "K-Kai!"

"Shh..." Kai said quickly, reaching up a hand to tease the other invitingly taut nub, making Andy buck beneath him. As he felt Andy move he slammed his own hips down, making Andy scream softly at the intense friction he'd just been presented with.

Kai knew it wouldn't be long before Andy broke, begging for him to take him but be gentle, so he kept up his slavish attention to Andy's chest, using his tongue to its full power to make the blonde writhe. "Kai...I-I shouldn't...b-but I want you...I want you to...oh!" Kai's hands found their way to Andy's waistband and dipped inside, squeezing hard. "Kai...Kai...I want..."

"You want me to take you?" Andy nodded desperately, mouth open, breath coming in desperate pants.

"But...don't...don't hurt me..."

"I'll be as gentle as I can. Do you want the light on or off?"

"O-Off..."

Kai reached up and switched out the light, getting ready for another night of wild passion and a following day of reunions.

* * *

Next chapter: Rei gives Kai a valuable piece of advice, which Kai promptly ignores.

Tsk tsk, naughty Kai. Well, what do you think of shameless tart Kai? Whatever you thought, please R&R!


	2. Chapter 2

Right, well here's the second chapter, people. It's a little bit longer than the first. Kai's still being the biggest tart in the world, as well. Thank you to those who reviewed:

insanewelshangel: Thank you for at least giving this a chance, and I'm glad you actually liked it!

Ellen: I'm afraid Kai isn't any better in this chapter. Oh, and that isn't the last you'll see of Andy, not by a long chalk.

Loz: No, I don't go on chatrooms much, so it won't be me you've seen there. Someone with my name perhaps, but not me. And I'm sorry to say that…well…this is an angsty fic. Give it a chance, though, it is kind of cute-angst.

Thin-K: Kind of Kai Rei…well, it is sort of. A bit one sided…ish. I promise it'll make sense when you get to the later chapters!

Echo in the Dark: I must say, it was very funny to write Kai being such a wanton little tart…

Ashley: Ah, how the years have changed little Kai. He goes from being a surly git to a total slut. Oh well.

Tntiggris: I know what you mean- my Dad would probably have a blue fit if he found out I read yaoi fics, much less that I write them!

Skimmie: I'm glad you like it, here's the update.

Mei Kimari: I keep wanting to write your name 'Kimahri' like that guy out of FFX… And it wasn't so much rape as…unwanted seduction. I don't think Kai's bad enough to rape someone, although he is a shameless little slut!

Animeobsession: Weeell…it is KaiRei…sort of. It's more of a one-sided thing, though. I'm finding it hard to explain without giving away the plot, can you tell?

Reviewer: He can tell because he's been an international tart for so long he knows the signs!

PandaPjays: Well…it isn't like he has a meaningful, long-lasting relationship with him…but congrats for not running in terror!

Kuroneko Hikage: Um…well, it isn't going to be fun at all, after this chapter. I think the end of this chapter will make it clear. Still, I'm glad you like it!

Siliana Blue Danke! Or, in other words, thanks! You're so nice about my writing…

KyokiXKurama: It's not cheating, seeing as they aren't dating. KaiRei isn't an obvious thing in this…and it doesn't come into being till the later chapters, and even then it's…not -quite- KaiRei…

DarkLightJak: Hee, thank'ee.

And now, the second chapter!

* * *

Rei was the first one to greet Kai off the plane, with open arms and a wide smile. "Kai! It's been so long!" Kai pressed himself close, letting one hand stray to Rei's backside. Rei gasped and then frowned, pulling away. "Kai, no funny stuff. I've got a boyfriend now." Kai felt slightly disappointed, but happy Rei had found himself someone.

"Who?"

"Lee. We've been together since...well, just after you left last time. So no more casual sex and kissing when Tyson isn't looking!"

"Guess I'll have to find someone else to do up against the shower wall, then..."

"Stop trying to entice me Kai, it won't work. Come on, the taxi's waiting."

* * *

After staying at the dojo for a fortnight, Kai managed to persuade Lee and Rei to come to a local gay bar with him. While there he managed to get an older brunette to sleep with him in the toilets, lapdanced for an even older blonde man in return for a quick shag round the back of the club and eventually went back home with a young Japanese bodybuilder. When he rolled back in the next morning yawning, Rei put his hands on his hips and told him that he was turning into a sex-addict.

"Yep." Rei frowned.

"Kai, I know it must be hard being on your own and having to move around with work but sleeping with everyone you can isn't going to make it any better." Kai frowned back.

"What would you know? Since when have you been an international businessman?"

"I'm a psychologist, Kai. I don't have to be in your profession to understand why you act like a slut. You need something to commit to, but the only thing you're committed to right now is your own penis!"

Kai turned from making himself a cup of coffee and smirked. "Yeah, why shouldn't I be? Just because your life's getting boring..."

"Kai, don't channel your dissatisfactions about your own life into mine. I'm happy. I have a faithful boyfriend, and we love each other. We want to move to somewhere where gay marriages are legal, and we want to try adopting. I know you hate children, but me and Lee want that kind of thing. We're not the ones trying to fill the emotional gap in our life with meaningless sex."

"Rei, honey, don't waste your time. Let him make his own mistakes." Lee appeared in the doorway, prowled over to behind Rei and wrapped his arms around his waist. "How are you Kai?" He asked, chin resting on his boyfriend's shoulder.

"Fine."

"Mind if I take your little therapist here for a trip out?"

"Why are you asking me? He's your boyfriend." Lee laughed.

"I'm going to take that rampant jealousy as a yes. Come on Rei."

Kai watched them leaving, musing. Was he jealous? No. He had money, plenty of people to have sex with...people he persuaded, seduced, and got drunk. But still, lots of people. He looked down into his coffee as if it held the answers, then decided to go and phone that bodybuilder again...

* * *

"See you Kai. I'll get in touch when we're all meeting up again, okay?"

"Are you sure you want someone who indulges in loveless sex there, Mr. Perfect Life?" Kai said sulkily. Rei shook his head.

"Kai, that's ridiculous. You know that, don't you? Just be careful and come back safe, okay? Don't accidentally sleep with a girl and get her pregnant, and don't go picking up syphilis from someone you meet in a back alley."

"I'll make sure I get AIDS instead."

Rei gasped. "Kai, how can you joke about something like that? Thousands of people get AIDS, you can't say things like that!"

"Well I did, so whatever." Rei sighed and hugged Kai warmly.

"I mean it, Kai. Come back safe. Please." Kai shifted uncomfortably in the face of such sincere emotion and patted Rei's back.

"I'll try. That do you?" Rei looked up with a smile.

"You'll have to try really hard."

"Okay."

* * *

Later that night over a coffee, Rei told Lee about what Kai had said. "He just doesn't care! He'll sleep with anyone! Anyone at all! He'll end up with syphilis or worse if he goes on like that!"

"I know Rei. I know. But he's twenty-two. He's the same age as you, only he has the maturity of a toddler. You can't be his mother hen, though." Rei sighed.

"I know. I know. I just hope he sees sense..."

* * *

While Rei was saying all of that, Kai was seducing a barman in the hotel he way staying overnight in. "Hello there..."

"Hello sir, what can I get for you?" Kai flashed the guy a seductive look and shifted closer, leaning over the bar.

"I don't know...what can you...-come- up with?" The guy smiled and Kai could see he was hooked.

"How about you come into the back room with me, sir? I'm sure I can find something you'll like..."

Kai ducked under the counter and followed the guy into the stockroom. At least he didn't have to get this one drunk to make them amenable... He leaned back on a crate of beer and took in the guy from top to bottom. Slightly chunky, a goatee, and a mop of thick black hair. "Seme or uke?" Kai asked lightly.

"I prefer seme...that okay with you?" Kai stood up and draped himself around the guy, whose name he didn't actually know, and ground himself up against him hard. He could already feel the erection pressing through the guy's trousers, and smirked. "So what's your name, big guy?"

"Ike. What about you?"

"Kai. Mm, remember the name, you'll be screaming it later...or sooner, if I have my way about it." Without warning Kai moved back and unbuttoned his shirt, slipping it off and stroking his nipples until they stood out to the point of painfulness. "Touch me, Ike..." As Ike obeyed, Kai threw his head back and laughed. No matter what Rei said, sex like this was so much more exciting than settling down.

With Ike still attached to his chest, Kai yanked the bigger man down on top of him and lowered them both onto the floor, spreading his legs wantonly so that Ike was leaning between them. What an interesting night -this- was turning out to be...and he wasn't even over the jet lag yet...

* * *

Kai yawned slightly as he got on the plane, making sure to eye up the steward as he was shown to his VIP seat, in its own cubicle. His own cubicle, hm? Experimentally, he pressed the service button, and the peroxide-blonde head of the steward poked around the door. "Yes sir?" Kai beckoned and the steward came inside, shutting the door behind him. Kai peered at his badge, and smiled. "Jean-Pierre. That's a nice name..."

"Thank you sir."

"You French? You have just a little bit of an accent...it's really...quite sexy."

Jean-Pierre looked to the floor, blushing. "You're very kind, sir. This is my first week in the job and no-one's said anything so nice to me yet..." He looked up, eyes childishly wide and innocent.

"How old are you?"

"I turned eighteen a few weeks ago, sir."

"Please, call me Kai, not sir."

"Thank you...Kai."

Kai smiled warmly, unable to help being drawn to this cute little guy. "Come here a second. I'll give you a late birthday present." Jean-Pierre obeyed meekly, and Kai pulled him down onto his lap, making the blonde gasp with surprise.

"I...I did not think...you...you're-?"

Kai cut off all further lines of questioning by kissing Jean-Pierre firmly, holding his slim body closer. With a moan, Jean-Pierre grasped Kai's shoulders, then moved down to touch Kai's chest, pulling away panting. "I-Is it okay for me to...to touch you?"

"Oh yes." Jean-Pierre explored this newfound right further, slipping a hand up Kai's shirt and stroking his bare skin, a look of wild surprise and delight on his face.

"I have never...never been so close..." The young blonde let out his breath all in a rush. "How did you know that I...was a homosexual?"

"Just a lucky guess. Do you want me to touch you as well?" Jean-Pierre blushed furiously.

"Yes. Please, yes..." Kai unbuttoned Jean-Pierre's trousers slowly and slipped a hand inside, cupping the bulge there through the silk of the blonde's boxers. Jean-Pierre bucked involuntarily and let out a soft cry, hands gripping at Kai's shirt. "Oh...that feels so good..." Kai squeezed a little harder and his current conquest whimpered, throwing his arms around Kai's neck and shoving his groin closer, desperate for more contact.

"Are you enjoying your birthday present, Jean-Pierre?"

"Yes! Oh God, Kai, yes I am!"

"Good. Because I'm about to make it a whole lot better..."

Ten minutes later Kai buttoned his trousers up and gave Jean-Pierre one last long kiss. "That was amazing..."

"It...It was my first...I have never...not actually..."

"That was your first time?" Jean-Pierre nodded. "I wouldn't have known. Honest...God, you seemed so experienced...was I too rough?" Ply them with compliments, get another shag later in the flight... Jean-Pierre just blushed again.

"You were not too rough. It made me feel...so good inside, Kai. Perhaps later...we could..." Kai laughed and slapped Jean-Pierre's backside playfully, drawing him into another kiss.

"Considering that I probably won't see you again after this flight I want as much of your beautiful body as I can have..." The blonde giggled, pulling away, and walked out. Kai reclined happily, knowing that he would be on the receiving end of a good shag later on...

* * *

Kai groaned and rolled over, and found himself up against a hard body. Blearily he opened his eyes and saw a back. He sat up and sighed. Another drunken shag...and he really needed to use the toilet... He hefted himself up and looked around for any indication of a bathroom. He didn't bother to survey the other occupant of the room, only stumbled out of it and into a small, somewhat grungy bathroom. He used the toilet quickly and washed his hands. As he did so, he caught sight of something on the counter...pills. He read the side of the box and felt his heart stop.

Anti-AIDS drugs. Dear Lord...

_"I'll make sure I get AIDS instead."_

Kai picked the box up and went back into the other room, shaking the sleeper frantically. "Whn? Wha?"

"Do you have AIDS? Jesus Christ, wake up you idiot!" Blue eyes opened, blinking.

"What? What's going on? Who are you, how did you get in here?"

"You have AIDS...oh my God..." Kai put a hand over his mouth, dropping the box of pills. "We had sex. Last night. Oh my God..." Blue eyes blinked again.

"We...slept together?" Kai nodded. "Then...you need to get tested, man. I was so out of my skull last night...I...God, I'm sorry..."

Kai stood up abruptly and grabbed his discarded clothes, yanking them on and running out of the flat. He didn't even know where he was, he just knew he needed to see a doctor...

* * *

Next Chapter: Kai has something to tell Rei...and Andy makes his reappearance.

R&R please!


	3. Chapter 3

Muahahahaha! Oh...I'm evil... Thank you for reviewing, those who did!

Loz: I know. poor Kai. And it doesn't matter about the chatroom thing.

siliana blue: Well I'm glad you like it...and thank you for the compliment.

Canadians Generally Don't Live In Igloos: I prefer angst expert, but yes. I'm good at making horrible situations for the characters. It makes them deserve their happy ending! Well...if they get one, anyway...

Ellen: I think your statement summed it up accurately- Kai is a moron. And yeah, I think I'd freak a little if I thought I might have AIDS...well, a lot, actually...

Mei Kimari: You think that's sad? There's worse to come.

BloodyShadows: I'm glad you liked it, and it's okay about not reviewing.

Kiko cat: He -should- find somsone to talk to, but he's a stubborn git. Which is how he landed himself in the mess he's in. Silly, silly Kai.

animeobsession: He might...and he might not... you'll have to read on to see!

Echo in the Dark: I feel sorry for him too. But I know what comes next...

Ashley: Yeah, but Kai's a pig-headed idiot sometimes, isn't he? Well, probably all the time, but still…

Skimmie: Here it is!

And now, the chapter!

* * *

Rei woke up suddenly, hearing the doorbell ring. He wasn't expecting anyone, especially not at... He looked over at the clock. It was three am... "Rei?" The letterbox clattered. "Rei, please..." Rei slid out of bed and walked down the stairs, following the familiar voice.

"Kai? Is that you?"

"Yes. Rei, open the door...p-please..." Rei obliged, and found Kai there in tears. "I'm sorry Rei..."

"What? Kai, what's wrong?" Rei stood aside to let Kai in and flicked on the light in the hall.

"Rei...I...look, I don't know how else to say this, but...you know you warned me? About...about AIDS? Well I..."

"Oh no..." Rei didn't want to believe it but he knew what was coming.

"I didn't even know. I was drunk, Rei, and I...I got myself tested and retested...and I have AIDS. Heh..." Kai laughed humourlessly, and wiped his eyes. "Hard to think it was only a few months since I was here in Japan, isn't it?" Rei reached out to touch Kai's shoulder but the Russian moved away, sniffing. "No, don't touch me. I don't want to risk anything...infecting you..."

"Oh Kai..."

"It's my own fault...I'm such a whore...such a fucking whore!" Kai sobbed, following Rei into the kitchen. He sat down and then stood up again, pacing. "You were right. It was just sex. It didn't mean anything. Do you know how much money I've made in the past few years? About forty million pounds. Sterling, of course, not weight...and it's probably more than forty million anyway. Who have I got to give it to? Absolutely no-one. What have I got to go back to? A mansion in Russia? Alone? What have I -done-, Rei? What have I -done-?"

"Kai, I-" Rei reached out to touch Kai's shoulder but Kai moved away, shaking his head.

"Don't touch me, Rei. I would never forgive myself if...if you...I...I'm not staying. I just needed to tell you. You know, if I don't answer when you phone me or something..." Rei tried to reach out again and Kai growled.

"Don't touch me! Don't you understand? I have AIDS! My blood's full of disgusting little -things- and they're going to kill me Rei! They're going to make me weaker and weaker until I die of pneumonia or something!"

There was a yawn from the other side of the room and Lee appeared, looking sleepy and puzzled. "Kai? Rei? What's going on?" Kai shook his head, running a hand through his hair.

"I've got AIDS. That's pretty much what's going on. Yeah. I've got AIDS. I'm going to die. Nothing big, you know?" His voice cracked and he started to cry again, wiping away his tears with the back of one hand. Rei tried once again to reach out but Kai backed away, scratching himself on the edge of the worktop. A drop of blood welled up on the back of his hand and he whimpered, staring at it.

"Kai..." Rei whispered.

"I have to go...I can't...I can't stay here..."

"But...Kai-"

"Look at it, Rei...isn't it ironic that this blood could kill you? Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. It doesn't sound that bad until you know you have it. I tried to tell myself I would be lucky. I was Kai Hiwatari, maker of millions. But a million millions can't stop you being a stupid slut and getting yourself landed with an incurable disease that means you'll end up coughing yourself to death with TB...can you see me in a hospital? I tried to imagine it and it just doesn't fit..."

"Hey, Kai..." Lee tried to cut in, but Kai just carried on talking.

"And the worst part is that it's my own fault. If I'd listened...if I'd listened to you, if I'd listened to -them-. I'm a horrible person...maybe I deserve this..."

"Kai...you're not horrible...and...you can get medicine...and-"

"Not horrible? Rei, I got people drunk and made them sleep with me! I seduced people who didn't want to be seduced! I preyed on them, Rei! I'm disgusting! I disgust myself and even worse now that..." Kai licked the blood off the back of his hand, smiling almost insanely. "It just proves how much of a dirty whore I am...and you know, I keep hoping for a miracle and it isn't coming...it isn't...it isn't ever coming...I'm never going to be able to get away from this, Rei...I can't pay off microbes, I can't bribe them, I can't run away as soon as I don't like the situation, no matter where I go I can't escape...because I'm what I want to get away from. I. Me. This body, this blood, this everything!"

He swallowed, shook his head and started to walk towards the door, and consequently Lee. "I have to go. I just...I just wanted you to know." Lee folded his arms and blocked the doorway.

"You can't keep running away, Kai..."

"Move out of my way, Lee. I'm going home."

"Where is your home, Kai?" Kai clenched his fists.

"I'm sorry, Lee, I'm not in the mood for philosophical discussions now. I know it's a big surprise and all, but I've just given myself a death sentence and I want to go home. To Russia. So I can spend the rest of my sad life in the snow. My parents died out in the snow. I can remember their blood...because it was the first time I'd ever seen the snow not being white. Hah, You've hardly ever seen snow, what difference would it make for you to see red snow? Red snow...maybe it's time for it to be red again..."

He looked up, glaring. "Move out of my way, Lee."

"Kai...please don't do anything stupid..." Kai turned to look at Rei, smiling.

"It's a bit late for that, isn't it? Besides, what's one more curse on the Hiwatari mansion? If I had the time or the inclination I could tell you about all the peopole who've died or killed themselves there. What's one more death? A little bit more blood, infected, diseased blood infecting the place?"

"No...Kai...you can't be serious...killing yourself isn't the answer..."

"So I should just let myself be carried away on the shoulders of disease, is that what you're saying? Are you saying you want to see me die by inches in a hospital bed? Is that what you want?"

Rei's eyes filled with tears. "No...b-but...I..."

"I'm going. Don't try and stop me, because I don't know what I might do. What have I got to lose? Not much really. I've got no-one...nothing...just money... And I don't even mean half of what I'm saying...I'm just so angry...angry with myself...angry with...everything..." Rei sobbed and ran to Kai, and before the Russian could protest he flung his arms around his waist, bursting into tears. Kai froze, deathly still. "Rei...get off me..."

"You only pass it on through blood and semen, Kai, I can hug you if I want to!" Rei snapped.

"But I..." Rei gave Kai one last squeeze and pulled away.

"Go if you have to. But don't...don't just give up on yourself like that. There might be some way of curing-"

"There isn't a way." Kai said flatly. He turned back to the door and Lee moved obligingly, letting Kai sweep out of the house and down the drive to a waiting taxi.

* * *

Kai rolled over and sighed heavily. He was back in the hotel where he'd met Andy, staying over for the night before he could catch a flight back to Russia. The trouble with hotels was that every room was the same. So even though he wasn't in the same room as before, he could look around and remember exactly where and when he'd done everything with Andy. Only...it had felt so fulfilling back then, and now it was just...hollow.

He'd ordered room service. A bottle of vodka and a bar of chocolate. Finest Belgian. Well what help was finest Belgian going to be when he was dead anyway? At the sound of a knock he sat up, with another sigh. "Come in." The door opened and Kai almost couldn't believe his eyes. There was Andy, in all his blonde glory, only...

"K-Kai?" Andy threw the tray onto the bed and collapsed onto Kai's lap, laughing. "I never thought you'd come back..."

"Andy...get off me..." Kai pushed Andy away, then looked away from the heartbroken look on the young man's face. "I've got AIDS. After I slept with you, so don't worry."

"Oh. But...I...I have something to tell you."

"What?"

"Well, it's going to sound strange whatever way I say it, so...well, a long time ago I was part of a government test to see if...well...to see if a man could get pregnant. I...um...I wasn't trying to tell you I was a virgin that night. I wanted to tell you that...that I could get pregnant if we slept together. And I did. I...I'm pregnant, Kai. About...seven months, now. I know it's hard to believe, but it's true...please believe me..."

Kai looked back at Andy, who was blushing profusely. When he'd come in Kai had thought he'd put on a bit of weight, but... "Are you serious?"

"Yeah. It's...it's a girl." With a soft laugh, Andy looked up. "I bet you never thought you'd be a father, did you?"

"I never thought I'd end up with AIDS, but I did. What are you going to call her?"

"Well...I like Mary...but what do you think?" Kai didn't reply for a while, just laid a hand over Andy's stomach. After a few seconds, he felt something hit his hand. Kicking. So he wasn't lying...or mad...

"Sofiya...but it doesn't matter what I think, I'll be dead soon. I'm leaving tomorrow anyway."

"But I..." Andy touched his shoulder. "You mean you're not staying?"

"No."

"Oh."

"Look...I can't stay. I couldn't bear it if I gave someone else AIDS."

"But..."

"Look, can you go? This really isn't what I need right now." Andy sniffed and stood up, turning and walking away. "Andy..."

"What?" Andy asked. Kai could hear the sob in his voice.

"What's your surname?"

"Gibson. Why?"

"Well I'll have to put you in my Will, won't I?"

Andy sniffed again and left, shutting the door quietly behind him. Kai let himself drop backwards onto the bed. A father? Him? No... It just didn't fit. Him with a child...him in a hospital bed...that wasn't how he wanted it all to be...

He sat up angrily and opened the bottle of vodka, throwing back his head and gulping down a few mouthfuls. He didn't want AIDS, he didn't want a child! Why did it have to be like that? Why had it happened? But he knew. He knew inside why it had happened. If he hadn't been such a whore...if he hadn't been such a desperate, disgusting whore none of it would have happened...

He didn't want to die in a hospital...he didn't want to be scared of touching everyone...he didn't want it...he didn't want any of it...

* * *

Next Chapter: Andy gets a nasty surprise and Rei gets a phone call... Actually, it's the last chapter! Tcha, I hadn't even noticed! 

I know Kai believed Andy pretty quickly, but right now he'll believe anything. He still hasn't quite come to terms with everything, so he's kinda...on edge. Anyway, R&R please, all you lovely people who made it down to here!


	4. Chapter 4

Ee! A nice long chapter to end it on!

And...I know this is stupid...but I've been hearing about people being penalised for replying to reviews, and until I find out more about that, I'm afraid I'm suspending replying to reviews. Sorry! And please don't think I don't appreciate your reviews because I do, very much!

* * *

Andy came back the next morning, to personally give Kai his eight o clock wake up call. He knocked then walked in, one hand on his growing stomach. The sight that met his eyes made him scream, and keep screaming until another five people, two guests and three staff, appeared. Kai was lying on the bed, surrounded by blood...so much blood... There was a piece of paper on his chest which said clearly 'Don't touch this blood, I have AIDS'. 

It was obvious that he wasn't breathing. Obvious that he was... "He's dead..." Andy whispered. He looked away, unable to stand the sight of Kai lying there with his wrists and the sheets stained rusty red. As his eyes flickered over the desk he saw some papers lying there. Maybe...there would be a note? He went over, almost dazedly, and picked up three envolopes and a sheet of paper.

The paper read:

"If you are reading this then I'm sure that it is very apparent that I have comitted suicide. Don't touch the blood, because while I was alive I had AIDS. I have left three letters: One for Rei Kon, one for my solicitor, and one for Andy Gibson. The first two must be given to Rei Kon, who you must contact on this telephone number: 0189739064. Make sure you are calling China, and more specifically Tianjin. Andy Gibson is an employee in this hotel, please ensure that he gets his letter. When Rei arrives, and I know he will, introduce him to Andy. Andy needs to see my solicitor too, you see. I appoint Rei Kon as the executor of my Will."

Andy looked down at the note, the letters, and then across at Kai's serene features, then burst into uncontrollable tears.

* * *

Rei groaned as the phone started ringing by his ear and reached out, picking it up and grunting at whoever was on the other end. "Mr. Kon? Mr. Rei Kon?" 

"Yes. What? It's one in the morning, what do you want?"

"Um...do you know a Kai Hiwatari?" Rei's heart started thudding and he swallowed. Somehow he could tell it would be bad news...

"Yes...yes I do..."

"I'm sorry to have to tell you, but...he's comitted suicide. His suicide note details you as the executor of his Will."

"B-But is he really-?"

"He's dead, yes. When our employee found him he was already dead."

"W...Where are you?"

"The Hotel Von Schmidt in Hamburg, Germany. He requested in his final note that you come and recieve a letter and meet someone."

Rei found his eyes filling with tears. "I'll be there as soon as I can..." He whispered, putting down the phone. He shook Lee awake and collapsed against him, sobbing. "Lee...he's killed himself, Lee! He's dead!"

"What?" Lee asked sleepily. Rei grabbed his shoulders and shook him, frantic.

"Kai's killed himself!" Lee's face underwent a strange transformation, from shock to disbelief to puzzlement to sadness.

"Where?"

"In...in Germany...Lee...I have to go out there...he said I have to execute his Will..."

"Oh Rei..." Lee sighed. "Come on, let's get dressed and you can go now. It's not like you'll be able to sleep..."

* * *

"Excuse me?" Rei turned enquiring. "Are you...are you that friend of Kai's?" Rei looked the inquirer up and down suspiciously. 

"Who're you then?"

"I'm...I'm Andy...I...I was Kai's...I mean...he..." Andy trailed off into silence and held out the two letters intended for Rei. Rei opened the one adressed to him first.

_Dear Rei,_

_I know you told me not to give up on myself... Well it was hard not to. I know this is going to sound riduculous but I got a guy pregnant. Andy Gibson, who should be around somewhere. If you ask I'm sure he'll tell you more, but he was part of a government project a long time ago, and basically, he got pregnant._

_So there you go. I'm a father, I've got AIDS, and where does that leave me? Where I don't want to be, is the obvious answer. I never saw myself ever being in this situation, but hey, nothing's ever certain... So, well...I've killed myself. Obviously I'm not dead right now, because I'm writing this, but by the time you read it I will be dead. I've provided for Andy and my daughter in my Will, as well as for you and Lee, Tyson, Max and Kenny. I want some of my money to go to charity as well, but that's all in the other letter._

_I just want to thank you for what you've done for me over the years. I'm not going to be slushy and say I remember each and every time you made me coffee or washed my clothes, but I'm grateful. If I'd taken your advice, maybe I wouldn't have come to this. You'll think I was wrong to do something like that, but...I'm so scared, Rei. And I hate it. I'm scared of touching anyone, in case I have a cut I don't notice and pass this on. I'm a father...but I'd never dare touch her. And that isn't a future I want to contemplate, to be honest._

_I know I'm probably not making much sense but I just wanted you to know... I wanted my life to be on my own terms, you know I've never been a conformist, and having to live the rest of my life scared of touching things...scared of being close to people, to my own flesh and blood... I'm only glad that I got AIDS after I slept with Andy. And maybe no-one will ever tell her the truth about me and what I was like and what I did...but I can know for myself that the Hiwatari line isn't over. Yet._

_I never wanted to die in a hospital. I've never been one to let anything get one over on me, life included. I'll die when I say so, not because I've caught TB or whatever. And maybe it's better for everyone this way. I left my mansion to Andy, and enough money for him to never have to work again if he doesn't want to. He never liked working here in Germany, and his family threw him out when he was younger. He can start again. And you and Lee...well I know how proud you are, but you're getting the money I left for you whether you like it or not. You can use it to pay for your wedding, and I'm sure it'll come in handy if you adopt a child. Only don't spoil them too much..._

_It's amazing how much you can't express in a letter. I'm crying right now, but not over the paper. I couldn't stand to be a suicidee with a tear-stained note. That's far too cliched for me, and well you know it. I've put a picture in the envolope. I always promised I'd let you see the pictures of me from when I was young, and I only had one to hand. I only kept it because it had my mother and father in it, but I'm there as well. Not that you'll probably care, of course, but still._

_I...I feel like an idiot to ask this, but...don't forget me. Please. I couldn't bear to think that I just got wiped from existence with no-one to remember me and what I was like. I don't care how you remember me...remember me as the slut I am if you want to, or your surly captain, or anything... This is ridiculous. This won't matter to me when I'm dead, will it? Well, yours is the last letter, and so...I suppose in a way these are my last words._

_All my life...I've never told anyone that I loved them. I was too young to understand when I was little...my parents died before I really knew what love was. I never loved my grandfather anyway, nor anyone at the abbey. I don't think I ever loved any of the people I slept with, except perhaps Andy. But only in the way anyone would love the father (mother?) of their child._

_Now that I think about it...there's only ever been one person I loved. I never dated him as such, and I never declared undying love for him, but I don't think love's like that anyway. Half the time it isn't even love, it's lust. It's funny. I've told people I love them to get them in bed with me, but never meant it, and yet the one person who maybe I did love...never heard me say the words._

_It's you, Rei. I love you. I say love, but I haven't loved anyone since I was oh, six? Five? I can't remember. A long time, suffice it to say. Maybe it isn't really love, but I think it's probably the closest I'll ever get. Keep it to yourself, though. I don't think Lee would be too happy to know that the only time I ever felt that purest of emotions was for his boyfriend. I'm not going to launch into a speech about how your love shone on me like the sun, or how being in love with you was like being in heaven, because it wasn't. You don't love me, and now you can't, so don't get any ideas._

_Loving you wasn't like heaven because I didn't even realise it until I started wondering who I needed to leave letters for. If you're looking for a comparison, Andy got about ten lines of an apology. My solicitor got about forty of demands. I'm not keeping an exact count, but so far, and on this paper, I've written you about a hundred. So I love you. Hey, it's a new idea to me too, but I think it's always been there. That doesn't mean I want you to leave Lee, in fact I'll be incensed if you ever do._

_Move away and marry Lee, adopt a child, and live the rest of your life in happiness. But I know you'll do that anyway. You always cheered me up when I was down, Rei. Lee's so lucky that he has you. Tell him that from me. Keep cheering people up, Rei. I know you're probably psycho-analyzing this letter as you read it but to be quite frank, I think you'll come to a very obvious conclusion. I'm stubborn and suicidal. Anyway, I've ranted on for long enough, so I'll go now. It's probably quite horrible for you to think that about a minute after I wrote this (write this? I keep trying to think about you reading this in the future, but at the moment I'm pretty set on the here and now) I slit my wrists with my razor and then just let myself bleed to death. I've always wondered what it felt like...but never been stupid enough to do it. Well...maybe I'm just stupid, but you know me. I can't bribe fate so I'll just remove myself from his game._

_Goodbye. Good luck. And I know your proud side will tell you to give the money I leave you to charity, but don't. One, they're already getting more than enough off me, and two...I want the best for you, Rei. That's what you want for anyone you love. If there is a heaven, I want to look down and see you enjoying yourself with Lee and a child, maybe even two or three children. It isn't out of pity or charity that I'm giving you that money. It's because you're the person who means the most to me in the world and this is the only thing I can give you. Don't give away the only gift that I can give back for all those years of friendship. I know pounds and pence can never repay the things you've done for me...but that's all I have to give, Rei._

_I love you,_

_Kai Hiwatari._

_PS: My solicitor is Spanish- Mr. Domenico Fernandez, 31 Azul Lane, Madrid. Take the letter to him and he'll sort everything out. Could you take Andy with you, though? And make sure he gets to Russia okay... He might be twenty but he's naive as hell. And for what it's worth...you were a much better lay than him. That's a terribly perverted way to end a suicide letter, but you know what I'm like. I only regret not being able to sleep with every gay man in the world. Maybe I could even have converted some of the straight ones if I'd had long enough... Look at me, I'm setting myself off again...I'll shut up now. I won't waste any more of your time with pointless rubbish. Goodbye. I'll be thinking of you as I take my last breath, Rei. I love you._

By the time Rei got to the end of the letter he was in floods of tears. "Um...Rei?" Andy ventured. Rei didn't reply, just threw his arms around Andy's neck and sobbed into his shoulder. After crying bitterly for the next few minutes, he managed to control himself enough to speak. "C-Congratulations..." He managed to choke out. Andy looked down at his distended stomach and smiled softly.

"I never really knew him...but I think it's an automatic thing. He's the father of my baby, so I feel something for him...I'm not sure if it's love, but... He said in his letter that he was sorry he couldn't stay to see her grow up, but he couldn't live with knowing he had a child and being too afraid to touch her. But...what was he like?"

Rei shook his head and started to cry again. "He says we have to see his solicitor in Spain...so...we'd better get going. I can cry while we're on the train. Come on."

* * *

"E-Excuse me...but how much-?" Rei asked incredulously. The rather fat solicitor he was sitting across from looked back down at the letter. 

"'To Andy Gibson, my house and the estate around it, and thirty million pounds sterling. To Rei Kon, twenty million pounds sterling and my eternal gratitude. To Tyson Granger, Max Tate and Kenny Bianco, five million pounds sterling each. That amounts in total to sixty-five million pounds sterling. The rest of my money, which should be something like ten million pounds sterling, is to be given to the International AIDS Research Association.' That's what it says. It's simple really. The money will be transferred from Mr. Hiwatari's bank account and the deeds signed over to Mr. Gibson, the account will be closed and that's it all done, basically. I'll take care of everything, don't worry."

Rei looked to Andy, who was sitting beside him with a look of absolute shock on his face. "I never knew...he had so much money...but I...th-thirty million? That can't be right, can it? Why did he leave me his house if he gave me so much money? I don't...I don't understand..." Rei put a hand on Andy's shoulder, squeezing gently.

"Kai was never very good with people. He spent his time getting laid and making money. He ended up with more than his fair share of both, in the end. He was always on the edge, but when he got AIDS...I think it tipped him over. Money was all he could give, Andy. He didn't have anything else. He might have been strong and confident...but inside he was always sad." Rei sighed. "Maybe when we're done here...we could talk about him? It'll be a while before I can sort out you going to Russia, seeing as you can't fly in your condition..."

* * *

Lee ran into the hall as he heard the door opening and threw his arms around Rei, happy to have him back home. "Well? Did it go okay?" 

"Lee...a lot happened...and I found out a lot...but..." Rei sighed. "I'll do it in bullet points, okay?"

Lee pulled him towards the living room and sat him down on the squashy green sofa before nodding. "Right, tell me about it all then."

"Well...Kai had AIDS, Kai went to go home, Kai went back to a hotel he'd been to before as a stopover between flights, found out that he got a guy there pregnant and killed himself. He left me a letter, and told me to take his other letter to his solicitor. He left the pregnant guy thirty million and his house, Tyson Kenny and Max five million each, and..." Rei took a deep breath. "He left me twenty million, Lee."

Lee blinked. "What did you just say?"

"He left me...well, us...twenty million. Pounds, of course..."

"Twenty -million-?"

Rei nodded, sighing. "Here...that's the letter he gave me." Rei took the envelope out of his pocket and handed it to Lee. Lee shook the letter out and a photo dropped out with it. Rei suddenly remembered what Kai had said in the letter about the picture of him when he was tounger. He picked it up and looked at it.

A tall navy-haired man was standing with his arm around a shorter, gray-haired woman, who was smiling happily, with one hand on the shoulder of a young boy... A young boy with hair that seemed to be a mixture of the two, a scruffy teddy-bear in one hand, and his thumb in his mouth. Rei was sure he couldn't be more than two or three...

As Rei was marvelling at the photo, Lee finished reading the letter. "I never knew he was so..."

"So-?"

"Perceptive. And he's right. I am lucky to have you." Rei blushed and put down the photo in order to treat Lee to a loving kiss. Lee held Rei against his chest, smiling down at him fondly. "He always did plan for the future...and I suppose it's nice to have the money to go somewhere where I can marry you..." While Lee and Rei indulged in a lot more intimate activities, the photo of young Kai and his parents stared up the ceiling, as lifeless as the people in it.

* * *

Andy looked down at the picture Rei was holding out and laughed softly. "She looks like him..." 

It was two months after they'd sorted out Kai's will, and Rei had taken a trip over to Russia to see Andy and baby Sofiya. They were sitting on the parquet floor in Kai's vast living room, talking about Kai. "He had a very bad childhood. His parents were shot, and he never said anything but I think his grandfather had something to do with it..."

Andy sighed. "It's hard sometimes. Knowing that I was just a fling and that he didn't ever really love me..."

"I don't think he really knew what love was. It's like if you've never come across a word, you don't know that it exists. Well Kai never really knew love...he never understood what it was to be in love with someone." Andy sighed again and shifted Sofiya on his lap.

"I don't think I really want to stay in a house this big..."

"Move then. Kai wouldn't have minded, he never really liked it here to begin with. There were too many painful memories of his childhood. I think that was part of the reason he moved around so much..."

After a silence, Andy shrugged. "So...what are you doing now?"

"Me and Lee are moving to Canada. So we can get married." Rei smiled happily, imagining his to-be wedding day, and the to-be husband who was waiting for him back in Tianjin. While he was doing so, Andy sniffed, looking miserable.

"Do you think...if he hadn't...he would have married me?"

"No." Andy's face fell.

"I suppose you're right. I never really knew him at all..."

"No...I didn't mean it like that. Kai just never believed in gay marriage."

"But...he was gay...so why-?"

"He said he didn't want to be associated with any 'pathetic outdated Christian custom'. It was amazing how he could make the word 'Christian' seem like an insult...he was very opinionated." Andy laughed, but Rei could tell that it was forced. "I know it's hard for you..."

"It's not that...it's just...I don't know what to do any more...I don't know what to do..."

"Well you've got thirty million pounds, so that means you can do just about anything." Another forced laugh, then Andy started to cry, melting from mirth to misery. Rei slid a little way across the shiny floor and patted Andy's shoulder, clicking his tongue sympathetically. "I know it's hard... Have you got any family you could contact?" Andy shook his head and sniffed. Something about that seemed to set Sofiya off as well, and she started to wail, tiny fists jerking.

Rei sighed. It was amazing that even though Kai had left Andy his house and his millions he wasn't happy. It was almost cliched, and that was something Kai had never wanted to be. Even on the verge of suicide he'd avoided cliches like the plague...

He laid an arm around Andy's shaking shoulders, sighing himself. Looking around at the grand, imposing walls, it all seemed so pointless. Maybe it was something about the place, but Rei suddenly felt as if he was swimming in a sea of uncertainty. What would the future be like? Would everything work out okay? Somehow it didn't seem so. But then...nothing is ever certain.

Fin

* * *

Well, there you go. I'm already working on a sequal to this, focusing on Rei's life a couple of years later, so that'll be up pretty soon. 

Please R&R!


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